There is a set of popular Sri Lankan jokes known as Udurawana Jokes, which are about a Sri Lankan
who doesn’t know English well. I had made reference to Udurawana Jokes previously on this blog
where I said they could be presented in comic book form in my article “The Potential of Sri Lankan
English Comics”. I decided to write my own set of Udurawana Jokes to add to the existing ones. As
Udurawana was a real person, I thought I’d mention that I intend no disrespect to him. I’m using the
name Udurawana due to the iconic nature of these jokes in Sri Lankan society.
Threw in the Towel
Udurawana was talking with his office colleagues about someone who left their workplace.
Colleague: “He really threw in the towel.”
Udurawana: “No wonder he’s gone! He must have thrown in his towel at work leading to him getting
fired.”
Web Designer
Udurawana was drawing spider webs on paper. His friend asked him “Why are you drawing spider
webs?” Udurawana replied “I’m studying to be a web designer.”
All Greek to Me
Udurawana’s friend Rukshan was reading a document which he was finding hard and said “It’s all
Greek to me.” Udurawana responded with “No Rukshan. This is English.”
Farther
Udurawana was in conversation with an acquaintance Nilakshi who asked him “How farther away are
you?”
Udurawana: “My father lives 15 minutes walking distance from my house.”
Maldives
Udurawana was reading that the capital of Sri Lanka’s neighbour the Maldives is Malé so he thought
“Why do the Maldives have all the males in their capital and all the females elsewhere?”
Chairman
Udurawana met a company chairman. He remarked “So you’re responsible for buying and dealing with
your company’s chairs.”
Candy
Udurawana was travelling overseas and he saw Candy in a shop. He got excited and bought four
packs as he believed it was the food of his hometown Kandy, Sri Lanka that he was missing.
Sighted
Udurawana was at a dinner when an acquaintance said “I sighted you at the University.”
Udurawana: “You couldn’t have cited me in your University assignment. I haven’t written any articles.”
Book
Udurawana was calling a restaurant that he was considering going out for dinner that day and was
asking questions about the food.
Restaurant Staff: “Shall I book you in?”
Udurawana: “I don’t want to buy a book. I want to find a place to eat out for dinner.”
Let’s Eat and Meet
Udurawana was chatting online with his friend Rukshan who proposed “Let’s eat and meet.”
Udurawana responded with “What type of meat?”
Tweet
Udurawana’s friend said “I’ve been tweeting my excitement about this new film.” Udurawana not
knowing that a tweet relates to social media site Twitter said “Stop acting like a fool making bird
noises. That’s the wrong way to express excitement.”
Cruise
Udurawana’s friend was talking about a cruise ship that arrived in Sri Lanka. Udurawana responded
“What’s special about that? We get ships with crews all the time.”
Dust
Udurawana was involved in setting up a big event. He was dusting a food dish with pepper. Following
that, he was asked to dust the room. Udurawana got dust and sprinkled dust all over the place making
it more messy than it already was.
Bigger Fish to Fry
Udurawana was visiting his parents in the afternoon and offered to take them out to dinner that night.
Udurawana’s mother said “We’ve got bigger fish to fry.” Udurawana then went to the supermarket,
bought some big fish and came back to his parents home to fry this fish as a meal for dinner.
Cut the Mustard
Udurawana was attending cooking school and was instructed to make a fish curry. Udurawana’s
instructor tasted Udurawana’s curry and wasn’t pleased with it saying “This doesn’t cut
the mustard.” Udurawana responded “But sir. There is no mustard.”
Udurawana’s Definitions
Manslaughter: Man’s laughter
Facebook: A book with people’s faces.
Postmaster: Company boss in the future.
Copywriter: A person who copyrights things.
Blackmail: Mail used for illegal purposes.
Brainwash: An operation where a surgeon washes your brain.
Wears Many Hats
Udurawana was at a party and his friend Rukshan was introducing him to someone.
Rukshan: “This is Thilan. He is a very talented person who wears many hats.”
Udurawana: “Hi Thilan! How many hats do you own?”
So that was my collection of Udurawana Jokes. I hope to write more Udurawana Jokes on this blog. If you enjoyed this, you might be interested in my previous blog post “Humorous and Interesting AI Talk on Sri Lanka”.
